6 Ways to Stop Your Preschooler’s Separation Anxiety

Seeing a pattern of behavior that you suspect may be separation anxiety? Preschool-aged children, generally 3 to 5 years of age, may experience separation anxiety going to preschool as this is usually the first experience of being away from you for a long stretch of time. Your preschooler might show signs of separation anxiety, including:

• Clinginess
• Difficulty self soothing
• Temper-tantrums
• Crying

It is much simpler to prevent separation anxiety than to fix it in the moment. To help prevent separation anxiety, try these tips:

#1. VISIT THE PRESCHOOL

Most schools have a meet-and-greet before school starts. This helps your preschooler get accustomed to the new class and teacher. Not everyone can attend, so if you’re unable to attend you could drive by the school instead. This way your child has some image of preschool in their head of what to expect.

#2. READ BOOKS ABOUT GOING TO PRESCHOOL

Talk to your child about what to expect at preschool. You can visit the library and pick up books about going to preschool. Talk to your preschooler about their feelings and questions as you read the books. Our favorites are: The Pout-Pout Fish Goes To School and The Kissing Hand.

#3. REMIND YOUR CHILD YOU ALWAYS COME BACK

Remember playing Peek-A-Boo? The idea with that game is that I was gone for a moment, but now I’m back! While you won’t play Peek-A-Boo with your preschooler, you could use the same idea by leaving your child with a babysitter or neighbor for a short period (30 minutes or so) and then returning. These small separation times will help build up to longer periods of separation such as preschool.

#4. CREATE A ROUTINE

You may have had a routine, but starting school has thrown them off. You may have never had a routine or simply weren’t consistent enough. A preschool setting is structured with routines and rules and your home should be no different. Your preschooler needs to know what to expect. Don’t forget to set a bedtime routine! Getting enough rest will ensure your child can better manage their anxiety.

#5. STAY CALM YOURSELF

Look in the mirror. Have you been anxious or upset today? Our children pick up on our attitudes, emotions, and behaviors… so if you’ve struggled today, likely your child will, too.

#6. GIVE YOUR PRESCHOOLER A JOB AT DROP-OFF TIME

Many preschoolers practice having different “jobs” or tasks. This boosts confidence and independence. When separation anxiety is an issue at drop-off time, you could ask the preschool teacher to give your child a “job” at drop-off time to distract them. Jobs like this could include holding a special sign or carrying an item.